If David Lynch made porn, it would probably be something like this video. We see an older gentleman examining a bicycle. He is fully engaged in the task, checking the bicycle’s pedals and their working condition, but there are no tools visible anywhere around.
“Is well. Very well. Yes! Finished.” says the gentleman to himself. Does he suffer from schizophrenia? We don’t know. Somebody is knocking at the door.
“Yes. Is open.” says the bicycle repair man, disregarding grammar to (we assume) save his valuable time.
“Hello sir. I come for my bike.” says the young woman that has entered the shop to the older gentleman.
“Is this your bike?” asks the repair man. It’s strange that he has not asked for a receipt or ticket, instead relying on her confirming the ownership by simply pointing at the bicycle. The Better Business Bureau should be informed ASAP.
“Yes.” confirms the young lady, although there is no proof that this is indeed her bicycle.
“He is ready. No problems. Look! Look at yourself.” Is the bicycle repair man making a subtle jab at Jungian personality theory or is he just not used to speak English? We may never know. As the young lady examines the bicycle the repair man inspects in turn her body. He is not able to resist his impulse to grab her behind.
“No, no, no sir.” The gentleman’s advances are obviously not appreciated. After all, the way the man runs his business is very sloppy, bringing his capacity to establish long-lasting relationships in doubt.
“Yes, yes, yes girl! How to pay here for?” Another example of the older gentleman’s lack of business sense. Asking for payment upon delivery of the goods should have been his first concern. Instead the lady’s physique distracted him. This is no way to run a business.
“You ask no money. You are old man.” Why the young lady would think the old man would not expect payment for his services is puzzling. Perhaps she lived in a commune or in a communist country. His advanced age is also an issue because some old people smell like boiled cabbage. Not all, just a few.
“What? No money? Here, suck a cock!” Given the gravity of the situation the old man gives the young lady an ultimatum, exchange of her services for the ones he provided. His accountant will not be happy with this. I know from personal experience.
“Suck a cock?” The lady wants confirmation of his proposal. Maybe she’s an accountant and can’t believe this business owner is committing such a gaffe.
“Yes, suck a cock!” And with that our latest foray into modern cinema ends.
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